Student Monologue Challenge: “I Need A Change” (2021-22)

Julie Andrews in
Putting it Together (1993)

The Challenge:

  • Create a character and write an original monologue – an extended speech for one character addressing another – that responds to the prompt “I Need a Change” (Note: You are not required to include the words “I Need a Change” in your monologue.)
  • The monologue should run 1-2 minutes when spoken.
  • Each week beginning in December, we will post outstanding submissions to this page as well as on MTC’s social media channels. Be sure to follow us on Instagram @mtc_nyc
  • Beginning in April, we will share some of the most exceptional entries brought to life by some of today’s most exciting acting talents!

You may also wish to check out our additional video resources that may be useful to you as you begin to write.


Check out the first round of the Student Monologue Challenge by clicking here. And, check out the second round of the Student Monologue Challenge by clicking here

Create the Main Character

WHO IS THE “I” WHO NEEDS A CHANGE?

♦ Is it you? Some imaginary version of you?
♦ Or, is it a fictional character, someone you imagine?
♦ Is the character speaking for themself? As a spokesperson for a group? As a self-appointed spokesperson for a group?

FLESH OUT THIS CHARACTER by answering some or all of these questions:

♦ What is your character’s name?
♦ How old is your character?
♦ What is your character’s social location? How do they identify in terms of gender, race, social class, age, disability, religion, sexual orientation, immigration status? What power or privileges does their social location confer upon them?
♦ What does your character do for a living? (e.g. student, factory worker, food server, unemployed, CEO, etc.)
♦ What type of dwelling does your character live in? (e.g. shared apartment, a farmhouse, a palace, a cave, etc.)
♦ What is your character’s family like? (e.g. lots of siblings, lives alone, married with children, etc.)
♦ What is your character’s chief wish in life?
♦ What is your character’s chief fear?
♦ What are three traits or characteristics that define your character? (e.g. calm, outgoing, hot-tempered, hard-working, etc.)

Define the Needed Change

WHAT IS THE CHANGE THE “I” CHARACTER WANTS TO SEE HAPPEN? (Be sure it is an important, major change)

♦ A change in a relationship?
♦ A change in someone else’s behavior or attitude?
♦ A change to a rule or a law?
♦ A change to a system?
♦ Freedom from a parent’s authority?
♦ Freedom from government oppression?
♦ Etc., etc.

WHY IS THE NEED FOR CHANGE URGENT? Why does the change need to happen now, today?

The Other Character

WHO DOES THE “I” CHARACTER WANT TO MAKE THE CHANGE?

WHAT’S THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE TWO CHARACTERS? (Remember: either can be real or imaginary)

♦ Parent/Child?
♦ Siblings?
♦ Principal/Student?
♦ Romantic Partners? Spouses?
♦ Friends?
♦ Government official(s)?
♦ Etc., etc.

FLESH OUT THE SECOND CHARACTER by answering some or all of these questions:

♦ What is the character’s name?
♦ How old is the character?
♦ What is the character’s social location? How do they identify in terms of gender, race, social class, age, disability, religion, sexual orientation, immigration status? What power or privileges does their social location confer upon them?
♦ What does the character do for a living? (e.g. student, factory worker, food server, unemployed, CEO, etc.)
♦ What type of dwelling does the character live in? (e.g. shared apartment, a farmhouse, a palace, a cave, etc.)
♦ What is the character’s family like? (e.g. lots of siblings, lives alone, married with children, etc.)
♦ What is the character’s chief wish in life?
♦ What is the character’s chief fear?
♦ What are three traits or characteristics that define the character? (e.g. calm, outgoing, hot-tempered, hard-working, etc.)

The Setting

WHERE DOES THE ENCOUNTER BETWEEN THE TWO CHARACTERS TAKE PLACE?

♦ In the living room, kitchen, bedroom?
♦ On the street?
♦ In the principal’s/boss’s office?
♦ In a restaurant or bar?
♦ In the throne room of a palace?
♦ Etc., etc.

WHAT TIME OF DAY?

♦ Early morning?
♦ Late at night?
♦ Dinnertime?
♦ High noon?
♦ Etc., etc.

WHAT’S THE WEATHER? THE SEASON?

Write Your Monologue

A MONOLOGUE is an extended speech for one character which should run 1-2 minutes when spoken.

MAKE CLEAR:

♦ The change the “I” character wants.
The relationship between the two characters.

Think about language. How would the “I” character speak to a parent or a principal? To a friend? To a spouse?
Think about the history between these two characters

♦ Why “I’s” need to change is urgent and important.

◊ What are “I’s” reasons for needing the change?
◊ How will things be different if the other character agrees to the change?

♦ Where the encounter is taking place.

NOTE:

♦ No need to include the statement: “I need a change” but you can if you want.

Terms and Conditions

ENTRY PERIOD

The Manhattan Theatre Club Student Monologue Challenge (the “Challenge”) begins on October 12, 2021 and ends February 28, 2022 (the “Entry Period”).

HOW TO ENTER

Eligible students may enter the Challenge by submitting a completed online entry form in order for their work to be considered for publishing on Manhattan Theatre Club’s website (“MTC Website”) and/or social media channels (i.e. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube).

ELIGIBILITY

The Challenge is open only to students currently enrolled in high school or high school equivalency programs. Entrants who are legal minors and whose work is selected to be shared will be required to submit a materials release form signed by a parent or legal guardian prior to publishing. Individuals with an immediate family member who is an employee of Manhattan Theatre Club or any of its subsidiaries, affiliates, or advertising or promotion agencies are not eligible. Eligibility determinations will be made by Manhattan Theatre Club in its discretion and will be final and binding.

SELECTION AND NOTIFICATION

Submissions will be screened by Manhattan Theatre Club’s Education staff as well as other members of MTC’s administrative staff. Up to ten submissions will be selected weekly for posting on the Challenge webpage and up to five submissions per week will be shared via Manhattan Theatre Club’s social media channels (i.e. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube) each Saturday beginning December 2021 and ending at a future date to be determined. The authors of selected entries will be notified by email in advance of publishing the material using the email provided with the entry. Entrants are responsible for providing accurate and current contact information, such as a valid email address, for contact purposes.  Selected winners who do not respond within 48 hours of notice from Manhattan Theatre Club shall forfeit their selection status.  Those authors who are legal minors will receive a materials release form which must be signed by a parent or legal guardian and returned via email in order for Manhattan Theatre Club to publish the material.

GRANT OF RIGHTS

By entering the Student Monologue Challenge, each entrant irrevocably grants to Manhattan Theatre Club and its parent companies, subsidiaries, affiliates and advertising and promotion agencies, and the successors and assigns and licensees of each of the foregoing (collectively, the “Licensees”) the right to use the entrant’s name, likeness, biographical information and written monologue, in perpetuity, throughout the world, in all media and formats whether now or later known or developed, including without limitation via the MTC Website and third-party websites and social media and digital channels, for commercial purposes and any other purposes (including without limitation advertising and promotion), without further notice or compensation, unless prohibited by law. In addition, by submitting a Submission, each entrant irrevocably grants to the Licensees a non-exclusive license to publish, display, reproduce, modify, edit, create derivative works based on and otherwise use the Submission, in whole or part, in perpetuity, throughout the world, in all media and formats whether now or later known or developed, including without limitation via the MTC Website and third-party websites and social media and digital channels, for commercial purposes and any other purposes (including without limitation advertising and promotion), without further notice or compensation, unless prohibited by law.

USE OF INFORMATION

By entering the Challenge, each entrant agrees that information submitted via the MTC Website in connection with the Challenge will be subject to, and may be used as permitted under Manhattan Theatre Club’s Privacy Notice available at https://manhattantheatreclub.com/manhattan-theatre-club-privacy-policy/ (the “Privacy Notice”) , and may also be used as determined by Manhattan Theatre Club in connection with the administration of the Challenge, and for purposes of providing products, services and information (e.g., newsletters) to the entrant.

Selected Monologues for April 9, 2022

Kaitlyn I., 11th grade at Cardinal Spellman High School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Amaiyah
CHARACTER AGE: 16
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER: Assertive, eloquent, and passionate
SETTING: AMAIYAH, after having broken up with her first love, is heartbroken and conflicted as she wants to get back with him despite how he treated her and lied to her after they broke up. She knows she shouldn’t and to cope she decides to write why she broke up

AMAIYAH: I have not looked into the mirror in four years, but when I looked at you and I said hurtful words, I didn’t do it because it was you but because I saw my reflection in your eyes. I saw the emptiness and nothingness in your dark eyes clouded with envy because everything she had was given to you and you were not as generous as that girl. I saw a girl hiding in a hyde, a shell of a girl who was beautiful but hollow. As tall as a tree, luscious coils of curls like that of lush green leaves that flourished trees but left that winter. Her coils dissipated into the heat of wanting to be pretty like the leaves that are swept by the wind hoping to fly. She was hollow and dead but her existence remained like a dead tree. I pitied that girl, how could she have fallen like a leaf but have the presence of a grand tree?! She was so nurturing and selfless, she breathed the song of love and life, the things you desired so desperately. To intoxicate her mind, you asked her to leave you breathless, and she did. Why did you degrade her for leaving you without a breath? She wanted you to breathe, but you wanted her to cease. And you have what you wanted. She was breathing less, you made every breath of hers feel less. She was I, but I am not her. I’m choosing to not wilt or tilt. Never hunch or bend to a man’s will because the absence of my father’s love made me yearn for the validation of an existence less than me. Never will I ever settle for glass when I am a diamond. That girl you left shattered, her clothes on the floor that were tattered, she is dead. I will put her to rest, revitalize her husk of selfish selflessness desperately grasping at the idea that others happiness should satisfy her hunger to be loved. She starved till the bones of her ribcage were embraced by the bronze skin she hated. She loved you, but the only thing protecting her heart from the poison of your ego was her wit. I will never curtain my eyes to your lies, your fragile masculinity that defined my femininity. She… No, I! I taught you love, I stuck honey in your mouth but that never made you sweet. So you choked and said I had rotten your teeth. The image I had of us, two candles ablaze with twine binding those candles symbolizing our connection, has dissipated. You burned my twine, and burned my candle so I would melt and be nothing more than wax. And I did not die, but the curtains of my eyes did. She built you a home, but now I’m burning it. For four years I’ve not loved or seen myself, and spent two months trying to love myself through loving you. The love I had for you left me deluded thinking your love was so profound, but I taught you how to be profound. That warmth and churning feeling of butterflies dancing a beautiful pantomime in your stomach, I taught you that feeling. Minutes felt like hours, I showed you what it felt like. My love was the pure love I desired most and I realize that. I never needed you… I needed change, and it starts with leaving you. You may curse yourself in delusion and hate me for an act I have not committed, but you will look at every other woman wishing she was as fulfilling as me. You have sauntered on the tightrope that is the waterlines of my eyes for the last time. I’m leaving you for the woman I want to be. This is our final goodbye.

Joana R., 9th grade at Riverdale Country School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Teddy Bear
CHARACTER AGE: 3 years old
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER: Desperate, compassionate, understanding
SETTING: Bedroom

TEDDY BEAR: No! Stop! No more of this! I need you to hear me! C-can’t you hear me? I know you love me, but this is—stop! Please stop! I can only take so much! I’m just here! W-why is me being here enough to make you hate me! Why am I—

(Beat.)

I need this to end! Please I need this to end! I need you to be like you were. I need you to be happy and cheerful and not quiet. Why are you so quiet! What’s going on in your head that you can’t speak!

(Beat.)

PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME! Please don’t go quiet again! Scream, shout, do something, anything! I need you to be strong! I need that vacant look in your eyes to go and I need you to be who you are because I need you and your little brother needs you and you can’t let them take you away again, you can’t give their fights that power, you can’t let your little brother see!

(Beat.)

STOP! I’m trying to be here for you! I can’t be here for you if you’re taking the stuffin’ out of me! You can say anything to me, I need you to say something! Please stop ripping me apart I don’t want to go back to the store!I don’t want to get sewn up again! Please I need you to go and play with your friends and to play with me! Play with me, don’t look at them fightin’! I need you to forget about the broken arm and the glass in the trash cans and I need you to talk! I need you to have a voice! I need you to… I need you to… oh god, it’s getting hard to see. I know they gave me to you, but… I-I’m not to blame for… y-you’re not to blame… I’m—I can’t see… No! D-Don’t cry, I-It’s okay, I’m okay. I’m—j-just… I’m still here. You’re still here. Everyone is still here. You didn’t mean it… you were just upset, y-you didn’t mean it, you weren’t you. You weren’t you. It’s okay, it’s only minor damages it can be fixed, It can be… it’s okay, everything is going to be—

Selected Monologues for April 2, 2022

Tiana L., 12th grade at Brooklyn Technical High School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Allison Huang
CHARACTER AGE: 23
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER: Resilient, empathetic, introspective
SETTING: The apartment of her older sister, Jade

ALLISON: I know it’s after 10:00, I’m sorry for coming over so late, I-I really needed to talk to someone. Yesterday, after mom’s dinner, when you asked me how I was doing, I opened my mouth to tell you the truth, but no words came out. I know everyone’s been concerned about me, asking me if I’m okay, and I keep telling them that I’m fine, (sighs) more like I’ve been trying to convince myself that I am. When I first started out as a paramedic, I was desperate for an exciting case. I was tired of cushy calls, checking people’s blood pressure and doing routine check-ups. I wanted a case that made me feel useful so badly, that I… I never considered how a call could go so wrong so fast. In school, they teach you the procedure for a stab wound, the procedure for a collapsed lung, the procedure for when your patient dies, but not this. There are just some things in school they can’t prepare you for, and some things you never will be. Holding that little girl’s hand and telling her that the pain wasn’t going to last long, (pause) it broke me. Everything I learned failed me. I failed her. No matter what I tell myself, no matter what I do, it’s not enough to push past all this guilt, this, this, this anger… because every time I look back at that moment, all I can see is her body crushed under the car, her face as she… she wasn’t scared to go, but I-I was terrified. I don’t know how to get through this on my own, I don’t — I don’t want to get through this on my own. I’m gonna talk to my supervisor tomorrow. He told me he knew a counselor I could speak to. I think, no, I know that’s what I need.

Joanna G., 9th grade at Queens High School for Language Studies (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Yue
CHARACTER AGE: 14
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER: Determined, courageous, and direct.
SETTING: YUE is inside her room with her mother, CHAN. The bright room is in a complete mess with papers everywhere and clothes scattered on the floor.

YUE: Why? Why?! I don’t want to only focus on studies, I want to focus on my personal life too! Everything I do has to be related to school but why? Why can’t I also do what I like? All you ever say is focus on studies but never about my hobbies and what I want. You think everything revolves around studies and education but have you ever thought about it once about how I would feel? Every dream I ever had was always ruined by you. Every thought I had was ruined by you. Can’t you support me just once? I wanted to become an actress, but you said I wasn’t good enough. I wanted to start my own fashion company when I get older, you also say I’m not good enough. I want to write a story about love but the first thing you say is “what has the teacher taught you?” Why? WHY!? WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE AROUND STUDIES, WHY CAN’T I JUST HAVE MY OWN FREE TIME TO DO SOMETHING OTHER THAN STUDY? All you ever say is to study hard to have a better future yet you don’t think once about how your daughter would feel. You think studying is easy yet I’m the one carrying all the stress and pressure on my back. Mother, I’m tired. I’ve tried. I really did. But maybe it wasn’t enough for you to see. Hey mom, you think I went crazy right? You think I’m rebelling right? You think that if I ever say no to you, it’s a bad sign right? Well you caused it. YES YOU DID. IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU, I WOULDN’T HAVE GONE CRAZY MAD! My arms, my legs, my body. It’s filled with red lines. Red liquid drips from them everyday. I really don’t know how I’m still alive, or what is keeping me alive. My life has been around studies and cuts. I have the amount of times you’ve insulted me carved onto my body. I could have been hospitalized by now but no. I don’t wanna leave just yet. I don’t want to leave you yet.

Study. This word that haunts me since the day I came to the world, has been long carved into my mind. This word has dragged me down deep enough that no one will ever find the actual me again. Just once, please. Just for once, think about how I would feel. I’m a human, I’m your daughter, I’m not an object… I’m not a study tool.

Selected Monologues for March 26, 2022

Lushmere M., 12th grade at Brooklyn Technical High School (New York)

CHARACTER NAME: Nina
CHARACTER AGE: 17
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER:    Desperate, confused, tired
SETTING: The balcony of Nina’s bedroom at 3AM. She’s standing next to her love interest, Jun. It’s her 17th birthday.

NINA: No one ever talks about your seventeenth birthday. There’s no guideline like there was for your sixteenth. Y’know? No grand party or anything. It’s right between sixteen and eighteen, and those are way more important than your seventeenth. I almost threw that cake in your face. (Looks at Jun.) Don’t look at me like that. No one sang me happy birthday last year, not that it mattered. And then you showed up with a cake and balloons screaming you’d love me forever. (Laughs. Pause.) Forever is a long time, don’t you think? I wish I knew what made you think I’m so special. Tell me? If not even my parents look my way why do you? You love me. There’s someone who loves me.

(Pause.)

Do you believe there’s an alternate universe out there? One where I’m not crying over a stupid cake on a day you’re supposed to get cakes? I’m a year older. I’m a year older. A year older.

 

Felix R., student at St Peter’s Cambridge (New Zealand)

CHARACTER NAME: Aidan Grimshaw
CHARACTER AGE: 20
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER: Caring, passionate, smart
SETTING: An empty back bar in Nottingham, 9pm. AIDAN is standing at the edge of the bar, watching FELIX play with a Heineken coaster.

AIDAN: You know Felix. The only way you’re gonna start making progress is if you do something about it. (Felix picks up his glass and takes a swig of his booze.) I can sit here and tell you things will be okay but you got to make the first move. (Felix looks up at Aidan.) Everyone is depressed! Big News. Times are tough but stop waiting for something to happen. (Felix drops 50 quid and then drops his pint glass on top of it.) Things have been given to you on a silver platter with diamond encrusted gold bloody nuggets drilled into the sides for the last two years. What’s changed? Where did the fire go? Where’s the hunger? Are  you too lazy? Do you still wanna be an actor? (Felix drops his head on to the table making a loud thud to indicate that he doesn’t want to talk about it. Aidan then walks close to him. He stands next to him looking down as he rests his head on the table.) Why am I the only person you’ve talked to in the last 10 days? I may be your best friend but I don’t wanna see you like this. It hurts. You used to be… ambitious, a role model, someone I admired. I don’t wanna see you like this… I have to go. (Aidan walks over to the door. Felix lifts his head and watches Aidan walk off. Aidan turns back. Felix’s tired eyes stare at Aidan’s disgusted look on his face. A wave of guilt flushes over Felix.) I pray to god; that the next time I see you is out there and not in here or up there.

Marco S., 9th grade at Riverdale Country School (New York)

CHARACTER NAME: Devin Roberts
CHARACTER AGE: 38
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER: Complacent, brash, angry
SETTING: The office of his boss

DEVIN: Damn. Wow. Just… like that? It’s over. For real? What the hell? Some warning would’ve been nice, you know. I mean, I thought I was safe! I know Darren got fired, but Darren’s a bum. I’m… well, I’m better than him. I gave you everything! I’ve survived two market crashes, three scandals, and God knows how many incidents that could have become scandals.  You guys are done without me! I’ve been in this same department – this same job – my whole damn life. I know it better than anyone! I know the ins and outs of the office. Good luck finding someone with the loyalty to stay at this job for… 13 years? Wow. I’ll be fine, I’m sure. I got a job this good once, I can do it again. You guys, on the other hand… not so much. Like I said, you need me. This place is going to fall apart. God, it’s almost funny. How dumb you guys are. I mean… good luck! Hey, can I at least know why?

(He pauses and listens, and looks shocked by what he hears.)

I have no future? I’m sorry, what? You called me the future of this company! You remember! I do! November 7th, 2009. You gave a big speech and called me the future, the guy who was gonna save this pathetic company from itself. Remember that? That was the best day of my life! That, right there. The peak of my life! That was… damn. That right there was the peak of my life.

(He pauses and thinks.)

Don’t I still have everything I used to, though? I mean, I’m 12 years older, but still. Come on. I’m sure whatever you saw in me then I still have now.

(He is pleading.)

Right? I don’t know what exactly it was you saw, but it was something. If anything, I’ve gotten better, right? Come on, say something. And can I ask – what brought me from “the future” to a guy you fire in a routine round of layoffs? With bums like Darren!

(He listens. Again, he looks shocked.)

Me? Lazy? Come on. That’s crap, and you know it. I’ve come into here every day and given it my absolute all. Frankly, I’ve given you guys more than you deserve! Everyone here is nothing short of miserable! Your company is falling apart! And when the company falls apart, you won’t have anything! You’ve dedicated your whole life to this pathetic mess of a business, and now it’s going to – it’s going to fall out from under you! And when it does – you’re done. Have fun living out the rest of your pathetic life barely scraping by.

(A pause.)

So, anyway… Could I have my job back?

(Another pause.)

Please?

Selected Monologues for March 18, 2022

Alexis M., 10th grade at Riverdale Country School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Maya
CHARACTER AGE: 16
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER:  Awkward, friendly, careful
SETTING: A park bench

MAYA: (Takes a deep breath.) Okay, hi, you might be wondering why I sounded so serious when I called you. I promise it’s nothing bad, it’s just, well, I need you to give me some space. Look, it’s not you, it’s me… Oh no, that sounds like I’m breaking up with you, which would be hilarious since we aren’t dating of course. (Laughs nervously; pause.) What was I saying? Oh right, space. I just need you to maybe not text me about your amazing love life with James. Not that I don’t care, I love James and I love you, as— as a friend of course. (Breath.) Maybe also cool it on the midnight texts. That isn’t to say that I don’t want you to text me, but at midnight maybe text James, you know the person you’re dating. (Beat.) Look I love our friendship and I love how it’s been this way for years, but you’re dating James now and I just feel like I’m butting into your relationship sometimes, so something has to change. I want to help, I just don’t really want to know all the details of what kissing him is like. (Beat.) I also need you to stop assuming that I’m going to just do things for you, or listen to your rants. I know that historically, especially in the last few years, I’ve kind of been a push over when it comes to you, but I’m drawing the line. (Firmly:) You can’t talk me into parties, or joining school activities because you’re doing them, or planning dates for you and James, or anything else that I don’t want to. I know that friends help each other, but it feels like I’ve been helping you and you haven’t been helping me, and right now, the way you can help me is by giving me space. So, Amanda, maybe go spend some time with your boyfriend, who loves you, and just leave me alone, at least for a few days. I just have a few things to figure out.

Elizabeth O.-D., 10th grade at Edward R. Murrow High School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Anna
CHARACTER AGE: 57
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER:  Sad, sorrowful, and forgiving
SETTING: In a park where ANNA used to take her daughter before she abandoned her.

ANNA: You were so little, so fragile, and so sweet “I must protect her,” I said to myself.  Our whole family said it wouldn’t be easy to raise you, but I had a different opinion… I thought it would go smoothly, I thought I’d be the mom who was always there for her daughter. But that soon changed. I had one regret after I said that I’d protect you, I never paid attention to you, you’d come home crying and I would ignore you and yell at you to go away. I would never help you when you needed me the most. I’d tell you to get lost and I would slam the door in your face. You’d bang on the door and call me evil!  I was never able to keep myself together. It was after I got over my drinking problem… I started to get better and I knew I was better. Until one day, when I drank a little, I started drinking more. That caused me to leave you and get away from my problems. I never knew why I gave up. I was thrilled when I had you, I really was. I remember when you were born, I held you and you snuggled in my arms as I sang to you. We would go on walks in this park… you remember? I would put you on my shoulders and run around with you as you giggled and smiled at me, you had such a cute smile… and you still do now. That was our bonding time together, I miss that. You know, they say time flies and I do agree, but everything was going so slow. I had a nanny watching you, I would be partying and traveling with your father… but soon… everything started to shift, I got pulled with age as our family taunted me.  Your father passed and you and I drifted apart as soon as I started to realize my bitter actions. I was such a fool, how could I believe that I could be a great mother!? I lost time with you and I hate myself for that. I never got to know you. I’m getting older now and soon you won’t have anyone to support you, not that I support you too well now but you still need someone. You’re only 18 and your father is gone, you hate me, and you’ve lost everything. Now you’re getting older, my sweet little girl is getting older. I won’t have much time before you move out. I mean, you barely come home anymore.  Anytime you come home I start a fight with you, a fight that’s not worth starting. It’s all my fault, and you were just so young and laughing at every little thing… as I was gone, not being the person to make you laugh. I am getting sick and I want to do anything and everything for you so please, let me be there for you and support you with the time that I have left.

Alexandra C., 10th grade at Edward R. Murrow High School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Erik
CHARACTER AGE: 17
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER: Pessimistic, melancholic, yearning
SETTING: Erik’s room. He is talking to himself in an attempt to find peace. Erik has been an outcast for the majority of his life due to him not having a father, as well as him being poor. He has always thought the reason for the mistreatment cast upon him had jus

ERIK: The idea of change is one that is easy to promise, yet difficult to finish through. One may attempt all their lives to change, yet to no avail. I don’t think it is possible to change the nature of oneself. To be who you are should not require a change. I do often wish to change the tedious aspects of myself. Sometimes I wish that I was more on top of things. Sometimes I wish I grew up with better circumstances. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so dreary all of the time.  I often wish I wasn’t me. Everyone always walks around with their preconceived notions, full of complete judgement. Everyone’s perception is so different, how am I supposed to recognize me as me? How can I change? Can I even think of it, shall I dream? I can never change nor erase my history, or my natural given traits. Instead, I must learn how to cope, for it is the only way to move forward. Change can be a difficult concept to understand, and quite frankly, I don’t think that I would ever possess the willpower to understand. As people, we all must do what we are told, and keep moving. It is the only way to live. When change arrives, we must embrace it wholeheartedly. I say this and yet, I myself am too cowardly to change. What a joy it would be to change. What a joy.

Selected Monologues for February 26, 2022

Ryder T., 11th grade at Tigard High School (OR)

CHARACTER NAME: Carter
CHARACTER AGE: 17
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER: Bright, quick-witted and insecure
SETTING: A high school English classroom, today.

CARTER: I’d like you to rescind my award.

(Beat.)

The “Susan Carmichael Writer’s Honor.” Yes. I want you to give it to someone else. Someone completely and irrevocably inadequate. Perhaps that one student who always talks over you during class. Or the other whose ego is disproportionate in size to his penis. I don’t care, as long as it’s the most obnoxious, insufferable teenager you can find. And when that kid walks out of this classroom, “Susan Carmichael” in hand, thinking he’s the rebirth of goddamn Shakespeare, I want you to consider how you failed me.

(Beat.)

I spent winter break studying your list. “The Most Influential Authors of the 20th Century.” It changed my life, truly. I’d never felt the need to annotate any book until I opened Virginia Woolf’s “Orlando.” “Illusions are to the soul what atmosphere is to the earth,” page 149.

(Beat.)

I know I’m your best student. And I know I’ve written beautiful essay after beautiful essay, but I’ll never paint with words like she does. All my life I’ve been praised for my writing. And all my life I’ve hated doing the only thing I’m good at. I needed this course to invigorate my love of literature. I needed you to inspire my talent. It isn’t enough, doing it on my own. I’m scared, Mr. Davala. I’d always dreamed of becoming an author. That’s my illusion. But now it’s fading, and I’m starting to realize just how completely and irrevocably inadequate I truly am. I need that feeling to go away. Now.

(Beat.)

I’m dropping your course.

Raynah H., 11th grade at Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School of Music & Art and Performing Arts (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Charlotte Brown “Brownie” Jamie Jacobs
CHARACTER AGE: 26
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER: Strong-willed, creative, and badass
SETTING: The evil layer of the fabled “Doctor Sinister” amidst the climactic final battle. A woman in a jumpsuit backs onto the stage as if she had just been pushed. She is badass. Unapologetically badass in a way that would be inconvenient for any spy ever. Think Catwoman. Her hair is in her face in such a way that she can push it out of her eyes to look sexy, but that would be annoying in an actual fight. She has bright lipstick on that is somehow never smudged. She is wearing a skintight suit that leaves little to the imagination. And is a walking femme fatal. There is a knife stuck in her chest, around where her breast would be.

BROWNIE: (Staggering, and feigning pain. She is holding a briefcase labeled ‘SECRET EVIL PLANS’. A spy music sting plays as she enters, and before she says her first line.) Well. I must admit Doctor Sinister. You’ve backed me… into a corner. But… you’ve forgotten one very important thing. (She removes the knife from her chest and stops pretending to be injured. Pulling a pierced bra pad out of her suit.) I’m not your normal super spy. (Spy music sting again, as if this moment is impactful. She poses. She sighs, and drops her spy mannerisms. Rubbing her temples.) I’m sorry. Can I have a second? I mean this is ridiculous, right? Stopping a knife with a bra pad- First of all, why would I have bra pads in? That’s— I mean what’s the point. I’m on a top-secret spy mission. Who am I looking good for? You? No offense, but you’re not my target demographic. That’s apparently women who think that doing roundhouse kicks in five-inch heels and hating my “nickname” makes me a feminist worthy of a kid’s toy. (She sighs and takes out a cigarette, beginning to smoke it. Making sure to leave a lipstick stain.) My name is Charlotte. Charlotte Brown Jamie Jacobs. But everyone calls me “Brownie”… You wanna know why? Because of my hair. Because everyone thought it would be funny if they called me Foxy Brown, but that was too long. (She offers the cigarettes in the direction of Doc Sinister.) Do you smoke? (Pause, Doc Sinister gives a negative answer.) No? That’s fine. It’s a nasty habit. Picked it up after my grandfather passed away. He meant a lot to me, y’know? He was the first person who taught me how to cook. It’s a hobby of mine.

You didn’t know I cooked, did you? Or that my grandfather died. Well, he wasn’t a “strong female figure” who inspired my deep desire to kill every man who ever lived, so why would you know.

Honestly I’m just tired of it. I’m tired of the whole “badass woman” thing. I am badass. But I cook. I know how to make pasta. I smoke. I’m bad at ice skating. I know “The Road Not Taken” by heart. I get sad when old people get kicked off of baking shows. My girlfriend practically has to beg me not to tell the staff that they get her order wrong when we go out to eat. I’m afraid of ladybugs because they always bring bad luck when I see them. I saw one before I lost my spelling bee in elementary school and it’s been that way ever since. (To Doc Sinister offstage:) You sure you don’t want one? (Doc Sinister responds with the equivalent of a ‘sure’. And she hands him the cigarette that she had previously been smoking.) Enjoy it. Those cost me.

(Audio of coughing plays. Of a person dying and suffocating.)

You like it? The cigarette is average, but it’s not the fun part. It’s the lipstick. (She redons the ‘spy’ air. There is a noticeable difference.) It’s poisoned. (Spy music sting, she poses.) Which means I’ll be taking this— (She picks up the ‘SECRET EVIL PLANS’ briefcase.) And I’ll be on my way. Bye-bye Doctor! I told you I wouldn’t be outwitted. After all… I’m not your normal super spy. (She blows a kiss, and saunters offstage.)

Elyssa K., 10th grade at Edward R. Murrow High School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Gwen
CHARACTER AGE: 15
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER: Strong, independent, and scared
SETTING: Gwen’s living room. 3am on October 26, 2021. Exactly three years and one day since her grandfather Poppy’s passing. There is a television in front of her that she has muted. However she can not mute the sound of her father’s snoring that is quite loud. Gwen has just finished looking through deleting pictures for phone storage when she sees photos of her Poppy and starts to think of him and what her therapist, Emma, assigned for this week in therapy. Gwen pauses the tv and places the remote carefully down on the coffee table. She goes to speak and nothing comes out, she takes a deep breath before speaking.

GWEN: Hey. (Short pause.) I don’t know if you can hear me but my therapist thinks this could be a good next step for me to get better and (a longer pause and another deep breath) I miss you. In the beginning people kept telling me that the pain will lessen with time that it will never leave but eventually just hurt less. Every time someone  would tell me this (Gwen stands up but keeps going) I wanted to shout at them “no it won’t” (acting out her fake understanding for their fake words of endearment) but instead I smiled and said “I know”. Now it’s been three years and i still feel so much pain I’ve just got better at hiding it. (Gwen squeezes her arm trying not to cry and wake everyone up. She lifts her head towards her roof as if talking to someone taller than her.) I feel like I’m trapped behind a one way mirror trying to scream out to people but I can’t be heard. (And the tears she so desperately tried to stop started to well in her eyes.) I don’t know what exactly to say. My head and my mouth have never been good at staying in sync. (Gwen takes another breath and tries to blink back her tears only making it worse.) I think that contributes to the anger I can’t shake away. (She stops to look at the stairs afraid someone has woken up but no one is there so she keeps going. As she does she starts to pace back and forth.) Although I can’t tell people how I feel I learned to keep it in check with sounds of water, would it be silly if they remind me of you. (A sad smile breaks onto her face.) I once asked your favorite color and you said it was blue, I asked if you like the pool or the ocean better and you said the ocean. Now the color berry blue feels safe and the smell of the ocean feels like home even though I never liked it before. (Another pause as she looks back up in remembrance of her grandfather and her memories of him, before snapping back  down to earth when she hears the sound of a bed creak.) I guess I should rap this up, Poppy. What I’m trying to say is I’m sorry for shutting the door when you were trying to talk to me. (Gwen’s smile disappears.) I didn’t know at the time that would be our last conversation. (Her eyes go back to the floor, she shakes her head at the memory she tried to shut out for so long, always trying to avoid it.) And I’m sorry I never got the chance to say I love you one last time and I’m so very sorry for not saying goodbye when I had the chance. (A look of regret on her face as if wishing she never opened the still healing wound that was her grandfather’s death.) I still miss you and I don’t think that will ever change. (Finally Gwen lets the tears fall and she quietly sobs, careful to not wake anyone up and explain why she was still awake at 3 A.M. on a school night. She wipes her cheeks dry, looks up towards her ceiling and closes her eyes before opening them one more time.) Goodbye Poppy, thank you for listening. I hope you’re happy and not hurting anymore. (Another small smile appears on her face.) With all my love, your cupcake. (Gwen picks the remote back up off the coffee table and turns the television off completely. Before she shuts the lights she looks at her home screen.) I don’t think my therapist was right but it was good to talk to you again. (She shuts the lights and leaves the living room in complete darkness.)

Selected Monologues for February 19, 2022

Imogen C., 10th grade at Edward R. Murrow High School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Hilda Batshaw
CHARACTER AGE: 82
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER: Determined, distraught, self-righteous
SETTING: By Ms. Batshaw’s farm, where the edge of the chicken coop ends next to her big red barn.

HILDA: Hey! Hey, hold on a second! Stop it, will you? I’ve seen you, these past few weeks, coming in here, beating my chickens heads in! Those chickens haven’t done anything to you boys. They’re just trying to live their lives, why hurt them like that? Dear god, you boys are something else! Why’re you looking to hurt them, anyways? These chickens, did they walk into your house at night, on their little chicken feet, and peck at your eyes? Did they wait outside your door and yell and squawk and keep you up? No? Then why would you ever want to do such a cruel thing as to beat their little heads in? For fun? What fun is there in killing those innocent little creatures? What cruelty and anger has humanity come to that even little boys are full of brutality? What have your parents taught you, what are you learning, that teaches you that this kind of thing is ok? Are you angry? This violence without reason, this meaningless rage that fuels you all, what is it coming from? My god, let us find the root of it soon, or it’ll turn us all into monsters!

Mandy G., 12th grade at Brooklyn Technical High School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Barbara Roberts
CHARACTER AGE: 18
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER: Desperate, meek, anxious
SETTING: Her Family’s Living Room

BARBARA: Hey, mom? (Slight pause.) Could I possibly go… play baseball with my friends? (Barbara begins fidgeting.) I know you don’t like the sport, but it’s been a while since I’ve met up with them and…—and I’ll be going to college soon, so I won’t get to see them again! So, please, just this once?

(Pause. Barbara grows nervous at the sight of her mother’s expression.)

Please, please! Please let me go out to play! I won’t get hurt — I’ll be okay! You don’t have to worry, it’s just baseball… (In a softer voice:) I — I’m eighteen now, I know how to properly take care of myself. I’ll be going to college soon.

(Barbara takes a shaky inhale before proceeding in a much stronger voice.)

I’m eighteen and I’ll be going to college soon. Shouldn’t…shouldn’t I get to make my own decisions now? I’m eighteen — I’m an adult now. (Barbara stands straighter.) I’m… tired of having to ask you for permission to do something — to leave the house, to play with friends. These aren’t decisions that will severely impact my life so why can’t I make them myself? (Barbara lifts her head.) I’m eighteen, mom. Eighteen and still relying on her mother to decide whether she can dress a certain way — to act a certain way. Eighteen and still getting picked up from school because her mother doesn’t trust her to walk home alone. Eighteen… and still having choices made for her like she’s a toddler.

(Barbara stands to her full height and begins in a softer tone.)

I know you mean well, I really do. But could I please start making my own choices for once? I’m old enough to understand what’s right and wrong, what’s good and bad. I know I might still look like a child in your eyes, but I’m not one anymore. (Barbara looks her mother in the eyes.) I’m eighteen, and finally an adult.

Naiomi M., 10th grade at Edward R. Murrow High School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME:  Adelaide Mirea
CHARACTER AGE: 16
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER: Frustrated, anxious, romantic
SETTING: Harlem, New York City, her bedroom, at around 6:34 pm, the sun is setting.

ADELAIDE: Sometimes I feel suffocated. Being here, day after day, after day, after day, after day, after day. It’s so loud, all the time. Just going outside feels like I’m at a stadium watching a baseball game. I don’t like baseball. No matter how many times I wash my hands, they’re always dirty. From holding onto the pole on the train, or pushing open the doors of the bus. Tying my wet shoelaces, (the ones that have been dragging on the floor.) pressing the elevator button, climbing the stairs– my fingers slightly pressed to the railing… I can’t see them, but I know they’re there. The bacteria. Crawling to and fro across my palms, fingers, arms, shoulders, neck, face. My routine goes as follows: water, soap, scrub, scrub, scrub, rinse, repeat. And repeat, and repeat, and repeat; Day after day, after day, after day, after day, after day, AFTER DAY. I despise this routine of cleansing my body. My body and my mind. I want to go outside and breathe, just breathe! Air. Not car exhaust, not drying cement, not sewer water evaporating from clogged drains into the even more clogged atmosphere.

You know when it’s snowing, the first snow of the season, and you breathe in all the flakes and the magic and you feel so clean? Like those tiny specks of ice are travelling down your throat, straight to your heart and just washing, washing, washing away all the dirt. That’s how I want to feel, all the time. I want to be clean, I want to feel that first snow feeling.

Selected Entries for February 12, 2022

Quinn F., 11th grade at Gramercy Arts High School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Grim Reaper
CHARACTER AGE: Honestly no idea, but an estimate is at least a couple thousand years
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER: Charismatic, apologetic, melancholy
SETTING: A recently deceased man’s house

GRIM REAPER: Man is this a nice house or what. I mean it is your house, but still, we gotta cherish the things we have, and strive for the things we don’t. Not my saying … I think I saw that on an index card or something? Maybe a billboard?  I don’t know, it doesn’t matter where I got it, it’s just a good way to live life by striving for the things that seem impossible, but one day you reach them … or maybe not … I mean in your case I stopped you from reaching any more of your goals, and in my case my goals are never even planned. You kind of forget what keeps you going when you’re in my line of work for so long … By the way I am so sorry about doing this to you, just kind of in the job description. Also I thought I should mention this, you aren’t very talkative for someone who was living mere minutes ago. I mean it makes sense, but you were on the phone for a good bit before I got to you.  I wonder who you were talking to? Actually now that I took a closer look at this place, you have a lot of photos … ohhhh you’re a family man!  So that’s who you were talking to. Family. Man you were lucky. I wish I could have had that happen to me … you know … have a family. I’m just really sick of talking to corpses… I mean it’s not your fault but I wish I could just talk to someone that is living. Make a friend. Maybe even make a family. But I guess maybe some things are just not meant for the Grim Reaper… Actually you’re right, I got time… I mean all I have is time, so maybe not today, or tomorrow, but one day I’ll figure it out, and hopefully I can reach the impossible.

Kathleen K., 10th grade at Spotswood High School (NJ)

CHARACTER NAME: Elaine
CHARACTER AGE: 17
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER: Burned-out, quiet, mature
SETTING: In a foyer during the night.

ELAINE: Listen Benny, go back to sleep. Go… go! I-I… just need you to go. Nothing’s happening, nope, alright? You just need to go back to sleep. Yes, yeah… I’m leaving. I’ve got to go before Mom wakes up, so that’s why you have to go back to sleep.

(Points to upstairs.)

Go!

I’m sorry, I just, I don’t want to scare you, you’re… you’re… too young to understand this now and it’s unfair for me to unleash this on you and and…

(Walks around.)

Benny don’t cry… please. Look at me alright, this isn’t some two day streak, okay! It’s been 17 years of the same old shit, so don’t put this on me alright, this… this, is their fault! (Beat.) I just, I’ve got to get out of here. This house… I-I need to move on and find my own way, No! Don’t say that. Don’t ask me to stay. I’m leaving, I’m leaving for me!

Benny hey, you remember that movie we watched of that guy who has it rough but becomes something big, something of himself… yeah? Well the people in Hollywood shield you from things, from the deadends, from the people who don’t make it out, from the people who stay in the same tree they were born in, alright?

Look around Benny! We are those dead ends! When’s the last time mom was sober? Mhm? Or lucid? Huh? And God, the only thing Dad looks at is the bottom of the bottle!

You’ll find this out soon enough, okay kid, you’ve got a couple more years until you start understanding this shit. So, you’ll be fine.

Ben you’ll be fine. I promise. Go to bed, go to school, do your homework… find a way out, that saying yknow the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, well.. plant a new tree alright… our thoughts are not our own, they’ll never be for people like me and you… never will be.

Amelia R., 12th grade at Edward R. Murrow High School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Auggie
CHARACTER AGE: 15
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER: Creative, passionate, thoughtful
SETTING: Her bedroom

AUGGIE: The corner of my room, where the grey walls meet and my bed fits perfectly in between, has stayed constant, it’s my quiet space. It always has been. Well since my brother went to college it has been.  I think maybe I took over his space when he left in a way to cope with how much I miss him. Maybe that’s why I started playing his guitar too. Because that’s how we could connect. Music. Well, and because I miss him. Especially on nights like these where I’m crammed in the corner of my room with his guitar on my lap trying to write another song about my leaving but really just wishing that wasn’t something I have the option to write about in the first place because he never should have left.

The calluses under my fingers sting as I change chords. I lost my pick somewhere in the clutter of the room but that’s okay, I prefer my nails anyway. The corner makes my voice echo. And even though it makes my voice louder, clearer, it feels as though the walls are the only things that can hear me. My parents are in the room next to me. My neighbors in the room above me. Yet they can’t hear anything. The walls mask my voice. They listen to my songs but don’t let other people know what they heard. So as unimportant as I am when I play the songs I write. As unimportant as the lyrics to those songs are. My walls stay, and they listen. Maybe because they have to. But nonetheless they listen.

Selected Monologues for February 5, 2022

Ines R., 10th grade at Edward R. Murrow High School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Eliza
CHARACTER AGE: 17
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER: Determined, restless, intelligent
SETTING: Eliza’s kitchen

The kitchen of the Webber family house. MOTHER stands on one side of the marble-countertop island with her 17 year old daughter, ELIZA, on the other. ELIZA is very determined and smart. It is clear that they are very well off, the area around them is spotless and organized. The decor is high quality and a shiny chandelier hangs above them. MOTHER is clearly frustrated, she angrily washes a plate in the sink while ELIZA watches, rolling her eyes. There is a clear difference between the two. MOTHER wears a crisp, fashionable dress. Her huge diamond wedding ring sparkles on her finger. Her hair is done in a perfect bun. She is Latina, passing some Latinx features on to her daughter as well. ELIZA is wearing baggy, shredded jeans, an oversized tie-dye t shirt, and her hair spirals in frizzy ringlets around her head.  Her father, a hugely successful businessman, is away on another business trip.

ELIZA: I don’t understand you. I just don’t. And, honestly, I don’t think I ever will. You have no problem just sitting here in this big, empty, lonely house doing nothing as Dad clears more land for his corporation, takes advantage of more people, and makes deals with other slime ball businessmen. I know what you’re about to say. Of course I’m grateful for what we have (gestures to the space around her) and I know we could have it a lot worse. Believe me, I know. And— Don’t interrupt me! Don’t interrupt me. Don’t you dare shut me down right now because you know I’m right and that I’m saying exactly what you don’t want to hear. (Beat.) I guess everyone’s right when they say ignorance is bliss. But I’m going to force you to listen to me, Mom. If it’s the last thing I do, at least I’ll feel a bit better knowing that I tried. I’m not going to be the perfect girl you want me to be. I never was, and I never will. I think you know that by now, although you try your hardest to ignore it. That’s what you always do. Ignore, I mean. Once I graduate, I’m leaving and doing something with my life. I mean actually doing something. Not going to country clubs and boring luncheons making shallow small talk by mingling with all of the other boring, rich people in the room. I’m not going to marry some successful lawyer or doctor or anything like that. I’m going to make a change. I’m going to do what’s right. I need more than this life; I need to do more. I’m going to go out into the world and make a difference. I don’t know exactly how yet, but I do know that I’ll die trying. This isn’t all I’m meant for, and I know it. I don’t care if I get your support or funding or whatever. I just need you to know. I just… need you to understand.

Paulina R., 9th grade at Riverdale Country School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Tam Everett
CHARACTER AGE: 25
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER: Sincere, loving, caring
SETTING: A bedroom.

TAM: Listen, I need to talk to you. This is really important. P-Please just look at me for just a moment. It won’t take long I swear. Don’t worry, this won’t disrupt your routine.

(Beat.)

Though that’s actually what-what I wanted to talk to you about. I just wanted to let you know that I notice. To me, it… it’s always been perfectly candid. I’ve known you for a while now, and I can easily spot the differences. Two years ago those eyes of yours burned bright with fire. You know what I mean like—passion. There was always something. Something to see o-or something to do, something to feel! I still remember when you got that fancy new job. You were so happy. We danced that night, my eyes never leaving yours. Y’know, It’s hard to look away from your eyes. Well, it was.

I know that it feels tough right now. I-I know that you wake up in the morning, just like every morning before that, and can’t find yourself feeling anything. Anything at all. I know it’s been a while since that fire in your eyes even sparked, and I know that you should feel infuriated. But you don’t. You feel nothing.

Do you think I can’t tell? Every morning, every evening, it’s that same look on your face. Never changing. Much like your routine. You wake up, you go to work, you come home, you go to sleep. Every single day. It’s the same life t-the same face, the same feelings!

To think that I’ve been lucky enough to see you before this started to happen. Before you got bored… b-before everything.

(Beat.)

I see you clenching your teeth. That’s good. It means you’re feeling something. Well don’t stop while you’re ahead. Go ahead and feel angry, or sad, or happy. I just want you to feel.

(Beat.)

Take your eyes off the wall, take your hands out of your lap. Change your clothes or your hair or your-your makeup. Just make something happen. Anything.

(Beat.)

How about we go out tonight? Would you like that? Maybe to that one place we went on our first date? Y’know, the Italian one? If I can’t get a reaction out of you, that garlic bread definitely will.

(Beat.)

The truth is, I miss you. I miss how you were, because you were happy. It doesn’t matter that you’re set in life, it doesn’t matter that you make money. What matters is how you feel about it. I miss everything about you, and I know you’re still way down in there. I know change is scary, but at this point it’s necessary. Change will make everything better. I know it will.

(Beat.)

Don’t think I don’t see that smile. I told you, I notice. I notice it all. Everyone does.

(Beat.)

So, Italian?

Alexis A., 11th grade at Spotswood High School (NJ)

CHARACTER NAME: Lex
AGE: 16
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER: Strong, kind, smart
SETTING: A sort of space where LEX’s junior year self meets up with LEX’s freshman year self

LEX: Hey, freshman me, it’s me, well us from the future. Well, junior year to be exact. Bet you never expected the hair change or to look like this. Look, I know this year was horrible, but everything will be better. All these people who hurt you, just try to forget about them. Trust me, I’m still trying to, and it has made things so much better. It’s gonna hurt for a while. We’ll have to see them everyday and we won’t be able to forget what they did, but that pain is what makes us strong. That’s shaped who we are. I can see the pain you’re in, but it’s gonna be okay.

Here’s some advice to help you get through this.

We just need to start learning to accept ourselves no matter what people think of us. Not everyone is gonna like us and that’s okay. We just have to be happy with ourselves and love ourselves. Also, we need to bring our confidence level up. When you get here to junior year, you will have so much more confidence than you used to.

We need to start learning who we can and can’t trust. We learned that freshman year the hard way. We have to stop trusting people so easily. And, we have to stop being people-pleasers. It’s hurt us too many times and I don’t want it to continue. Start living for you and your happiness.

We can’t stay in toxic friendships with people just for the sake of having friends, anymore. It’s caused so much pain for us already. I just want you, want us, to be happy. I don’t want us to continue down this path of pain and stress.

Things will get better soon, trust me. After this, you’ll meet so many new people who will care about you and love you for you. You just have to wait until sophomore year, which is only a few months away.

I know this is a lot to take in, but it’s okay. Just think about my advice and try to do the best you can with it. I just want you to succeed and I want us to be happy. We deserve happiness after everything. Just be safe and be yourself.

Also, start going by your nickname, trust me it’ll make things a lot easier.

See you in two years.

Selected Monologues for January 29, 2022

Victoria S., 9th grade at Riverdale Country School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: SuiXin
CHARACTER AGE: 15
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER: observant, realist, caring
SETTING: A kitchen

SUIXIN: Do you know what “dad” means? You think you do but you don’t. Yeah, that’s how it is. That’s how it’s always been. But let me tell you: “dads” are always present in a child’s life. And it doesn’t even have to be their own child! Sure, you’re alive, you’re present, but you’ve never really been here.

Of course you don’t remember how I used to love you. I did, with my whole heart. I tried to tell you by opening my arms to hug you, but you just pulled away with disgust. I invited you to every one of my events, in-school and out, but you just pretended that those events were in my fantasyland. I worked my absolute hardest in school just to bring home good report cards and make you proud, but all you would say was how good my brother’s were. I guess he was that much better, after all. You made it painfully clear that I had no chance of catching up.

You tell other people that you care about me now, but dig deep. Do you? Do you really? Do you care for me like you care for my brother? Do you care for Elizabeth like you care for my brother? The answer is no. But we didn’t do anything wrong. The only thing we ever possibly did was be your daughters instead of your son. Is that such a sin?

I need you to change. Elizabeth needs you to change! God, I’m sick of waking up every morning and watching her sad eyes follow you as you walk around the house. I’m sick of watching her use her allowance to buy takeout for you but watch it grow cold, untouched on the table. I’m sick of hearing her sobs while you plug your ears and walk past her open door. I’m sick of watching Elizabeth pointlessly wasting her life on you. And you have the audacity to tell other people that you care about us.

You have no idea how much you hurt her and how much she continues to hurt. She waits and waits and waits for you, reaching her fingers out, reaching for your warmth, but you shrug her away. You close your eyes and refuse to see.

I was a fool to ever love you. I was a fool to think you would ever love me.

Isa L.-V., 10th grade at Savannah Arts Academy (GA)

CHARACTER NAME: Sonia
CHARACTER AGE: 24
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER: anxious, forward-thinking, insecure
SETTING: In a car, driving to work

SONIA: Dios Mio, I’ve got to get out of here.

That is the fifth time this month. The fifth time. He comes, he asks, I give him the money, he leaves, tells me he lost, and asks again.  It’s just a cycle. An endless cycle. Ok, look, what’s the most natural shape in nature? It’s gotta be a circle. I mean planets, the sun. When you swing your phone by your headphones and it does a loop before it smashes into the sidewalk. But I suppose that’s it, isn’t it? Cycles and the cyclical nature of life. The circle of life. (Thinks.) I suppose that’s supposed to be comforting, isn’t it? Well, it’s not. And you know what, it’s not even the money. I am doing fine. Fine. It’s just, he has no qualms with our situation. I don’t know. I feel like there should be a certain shame about asking people for money outright like that, and especially your… God… I could say no. I really could.  But what you want to do and what you do are usually not the same thing, especially in this town. And how could I change when in the moment it always feels like the right decision. Like I’m going something good for the world something right. Maybe it’s that. Or maybe it’s the routine of it, but there’s something out there. Something holding me down like some huge magnet that is keeping me stuck in the cycle. Do I even want to say no? Jesus, and there goes the cycle again. The infinite circle. It’s just a circle inside of a circle inside of a circle. So that eventually it’s just a psychedelic pattern that you hang on the wall of your dorm. An image where you will never be able to find where it begins or ends despite staring at it every night laying on your crinkly college mattress stressing because you know when you wake up it’s going to be the same as it always has been. Never changing, always confusing. I just need something, a change, a catalyst to send this cycle going in a new direction, a different direction, any path except the one I’m standing on right now! I’ve got to get out of here.

Okay, sixth time’s the charm.

Adriana D, 11th grade at Spotswood High School (NJ)

CHARACTER NAME: Marcus King
CHARACTER AGE: 21
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER: stubborn, clumsy, unmoving
SETTING: The throne room of a palace where a selfish king, Rhumius Thoya, resides at the expense of everyone else in the kingdom of Thoya

MARCUS: Okay, okay, okay. Don’t ask how I got in, just– please. Hear me out– okay? I swear– I won’t– wait. I’m– I’m unarmed, got it? Please. Put that down. Put that down, I come in peace, I’m not here to hurt you, I just need you to– (Beat.) OKAY listen. It’s cold out, alright? How do you let people stay outside, freezing to their own deaths with so much space and warmth in here? Anyways– I’m poor. Everyone in this kingdom is really, except for you. Most of us can’t even afford a home, and are stuck outside in the rain, in the dark, not knowing if we’ll wake up in the morning. This all happens as you, one person, sits in this palace, all alone, with too much space to even use. How– how is this fair? How do you think this is an okay thing to be doing to people? This needs to stop. I need– we all need you to stop this madness, seriously. Your greed has gotten to your head, it’s truly disgusting. It’s painful to see people I know and love, citizens of this terrible bittersweet hell you caused, out in the cold, starving, freezing nightly, barely surviving until they can’t go on anymore, while you’re in here. You’re here, it’s warm in here, you get all the food and things you could ever think of, and you can’t even provide shelter for a single other person in this damn kingdom. Your people– your soldiers, cause that’s all you seem to care about, are dying. (Beat.) Your wealth is built on the corpses of many, can’t you see that’s an issue? Wait– put the sword down, please I– I can’t go like this– I’m just trying to– (Beat.) okay. I’m sorry, I don’t– do you really think that you’ll solve a single thing that needs fixing here by doing this? Even when I’m gone, that’s just another death by your own hands, are you sure you want to do this?

Selected Monologues for January 22, 2022

Alexa R., 12th grade at Harrison High School (GA)

CHARACTER NAME: Astrid
CHARACTER AGE: 17
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER: anxious, hard-working, struggling
SETTING: A friend’s house

ASTRID: What are you saying to me? Wha- Just because I get a little upset when you try to psychoanalyze me that I have to be in the “anger stage?” Whatever the hell that is. Are you saying I have to be in the acceptance stage because it’s been nine years? Dude, do you even hear yourself? You know nothing about mourning if you believe in that stages of grief crap. Hell, none of you do! It’s such a taboo subject, so of course, you don’t understand it! Well, guess what guys? My dad died! And we’re gonna talk and discuss and share our feelings until you and the rest of society get it through your thick skulls that it’s important to talk about. I went my entire childhood with everyone just looking at me sympathetically because I was the girl who lost her father. No one would talk to me because I was the girl who lost her father. I’m sick of being the girl who lost her father. And I’m sure other people out there are tired of being defined by the death of their loved ones. Society just shuns us for absolutely no reason other than the fact that they’re scared. Why are you so afraid to talk about it? Why don’t you want to learn? Please, just let me teach you.

Rodoshi I., 10th grade at Riverdale Country School (NY)

CHARACTER NAME: Harrison Milberg
CHARACTER AGE: 72
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER: restless, lonely, persistent
SETTING: Outside of a tailor’s shop. HARRISON is talking through a hole in the glass door.

HARRISON: Hey, little man, please. Just wait. I promise you I’m in great health and there is nothing that’ll slow me down or affect my work ethic in any way. I have more training experience than anyone else you’ve hired. C’mon, I know how this business has worked for the past 40 years. Just please. Let me have this. Sitting in that darn bright green room all day makes me sick to my stomach. I haven’t seen a new face in 10 years, I tell ya. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know how these people enjoy it. Just sittin’ around, playing bingo, and poker, and all that other nonsense. I watch the clock on that damn wall so much, I start seein’ it even when I look away. The place is worse than my son’s treehouse and that wooden box don’t even stand straight. And the food they give ya. Oh, don’t get me started on the food. I rather eat my great niece’s food than the food in that place. They keep telling me about the… what you call ’em…? The nutrients. But how are they telling me what I need? What I need is a place where I can get back in my work groove. I wanna be back in the business. THAT’S what’s good for me. I need to be in the thread, in the fabric, or in the needle. Anywhere else will only make my health worse. I know you get it. You’re not that young yourself. You can’t stand each day starting to be exactly like the last just as I do. I wake up. They serve breakfast. We have that darn yoga class. Then I sit in the yard. I watch TV. They serve lunch. I go back to the yard. I go to my room. I go to sleep. Next day comes. I wake up. They serve breakfast. We have that darn yoga cla—. You get my point, little man. I just— I need the thrill of threading back in my life. I need those darn old smiles you see on their faces when I hand them my creations. To hell with theirs, I need my own smile back too. I don’t wanna die crumbling little man, I wanna die sewing.

Madison O., 11th grade at Eden College Durban (South Africa)

CHARACTER NAME: Riley Swan
CHARACTER AGE: 18
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS CHARACTER: intimate, introverted, romantic
SETTING: The bedroom of Riley’s girlfriend Sam

RILEY: It was weird. It just made me feel weird, Sam. All I wanted was to get the money out of my wallet. I was hot, I was sweaty and I didn’t want to hold hands. Can we drop this now? No I’m not embarrassed of you. I really want to hold your hand but I can’t. Sam, I just can’t. Please just… please just drop it. I CAN’T HOLD YOUR HAND, OKAY? I just- I- I can’t. Not in public. When we’re at your place or in the movies or behind the shed, it’s different. I know we’re alone. I know we’re safe, I know there’s nothing that will… no one that will hurt us.

You hear all these horror stories of people getting hit, psychos just jumping out of no where and beating them senseless, kids that go home bruised and bloody on the way back from school. Kids… Getting beaten up black and blue  for showing their love. I can’t even imagine… I don’t want to. Sam if something were to happen to you, I would never EVER forgive myself. I can’t risk loosing you. Look, I love you. With everything in me, Sam I love you. You are all the good things in the world and so so much more. But I can’t hold your hand. I’m sorry, I really wish I could. When I know for certain it’s safe, that we will be safe, I will hold your hand. I will hold your hand so tight until the world caves in. I promise.

Special Thanks

To Helen Kornblau for her gift supporting the Student Monologue Challenge.