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The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It Hardcover – March 13, 2018

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 1,315 ratings

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What is the boy crisis? 

It's a crisis of education. Worldwide, boys are 50 percent less likely than girls to meet basic proficiency in reading, math, and science. 

It's a crisis of mental health. ADHD is on the rise. And as boys become young men, their suicide rates go from equal to girls to six times that of young women. 

It's a crisis of fathering. Boys are growing up with less-involved fathers and are more likely to drop out of school, drink, do drugs, become delinquent, and end up in prison. 

It's a crisis of purpose. Boys' old sense of purpose—being a warrior, a leader, or a sole breadwinner—are fading. Many bright boys are experiencing a "purpose void," feeling alienated, withdrawn, and addicted to immediate gratification.

So, what is The Boy Crisis? A comprehensive blueprint for what parents, teachers, and policymakers can do to help our sons become happier, healthier men, and fathers and leaders worthy of our respect.
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Editorial Reviews

Review

The Boy Crisis brilliantly explores the challenges facing our sons—and everyone. The sections on ADHD, the role of mothering and fathering, and developing boys’ health intelligence are priceless and life-changing.”

—Suzanne Somers

“Drs. Farrell and Gray frighten and enlighten us in their brilliant analysis, insights, wisdom, and practical solutions to
The Boy Crisis . . . essential reading for every parent, teacher, and policy-maker.”

—Philip Zimbardo, PhD, former president of the American Psychological Association and Stanford University professor

“It would be impossible to read this book and not become a better parent, teacher, or thought leader.”

—Marci Shimoff, #1 New York Times bestselling author

“What
The Feminine Mystique did for girls and women, The Boy Crisis does for boys and men. An eloquently written, compelling tour de force, The Boy Crisis presents a long overdue vision of boys’ self-worth, sense of purpose, and idea of heroism that will leave our boys happier, healthier, and better prepared to sustain love.”

—Dr. Richard A. Warshak, author of Divorce Poison

“A must-read for anyone who cares about our boys, our schools, our culture, and the future of our country.”

—Helen Smith, PhD, author of Men on Strike 

“Arresting, alarming, and impeccably researched,
The Boy Crisis is a must-read for every parent, educator, and policymaker who cares about the future of boys and girls.”

—Michael G. Thompson, PhD, New York Times bestselling coauthor of Raising Cain 

The Boy Crisis is a groundbreaking and exhaustively researched book about one of the most vital and disastrous yet underreported topics in America.”

—Suzanne Venker, Fox News contributor and author of The War on Men 

“Original, thoughtful, and filled with gems of practical wisdom to understand and support the future of boys.”

—Jack Canfield, coauthor of the #1 New York Times bestselling Chicken Soup for the Soul® series 

“As an activist in the women’s movement, I’m proud of expanding life choices for our daughters. But no one did the same for our sons—until now. Dr. Warren Farrell shines his searchlight on the ‘boy problem with no name’ in this totally absorbing, astonishing, and masterful book. Best of all, he offers parents and educators straightforward solutions with a heart full of compassion.”

—Gail Sheehy, author of Passages and Understanding Men’s Passages 

The Boy Crisis is the most important book of the 21st century. . . . If you care about the very survival of humankind, you must read this book.”

—Jed Diamond, PhD, author of The Irritable Male Syndrome 

“A must-read for anyone who cares about our boys, our schools, our culture, and the future of our country.”

—Helen Smith, PhD, author of Men on Strike 

The Boy Crisis is a groundbreaking and exhaustively researched book about one of the most vital and disastrous yet underreported topics in America by one of the most thoughtful writers of our time. As the wife of a dad-deprived man, and the mother of a dad-enriched son, I can personally vouch for its deep significance.”

—Suzanne Venker, Fox News contributor and author of The War on Men

"
The Boy Crisis will deepen your awareness and help you guide your son through the many dilemmas and ordeals that attend the journey from boyhood to manhood. Profoundly helpful." 

—Sam Keen, author of Fire in the Belly and Prodigal Father, Wayward Son 

Review

The Boy Crisis brilliantly explores the challenges facing our sons—and everyone. The sections on ADHD, the role of mothering and fathering, and developing boys’ health intelligence are priceless and life-changing.”

—Suzanne Somers

“Drs. Farrell and Gray frighten and enlighten us in their brilliant analysis, insights, wisdom, and practical solutions to The Boy Crisis . . . essential reading for every parent, teacher, and policy-maker.”

—Philip Zimbardo, PhD, former president of the American Psychological Association and Stanford University professor

“It would be impossible to read this book and not become a better parent, teacher, or thought leader.”

—Marci Shimoff, #1 New York Times bestselling author

“What The Feminine Mystique did for girls and women, The Boy Crisis does for boys and men. An eloquently written, compelling tour de force, The Boy Crisis presents a long overdue vision of boys’ self-worth, sense of purpose, and idea of heroism that will leave our boys happier, healthier, and better prepared to sustain love.”

—Dr. Richard A. Warshak, author of Divorce Poison

“A must-read for anyone who cares about our boys, our schools, our culture, and the future of our country.”

—Helen Smith, PhD, author of Men on Strike

“Arresting, alarming, and impeccably researched, The Boy Crisis is a must-read for every parent, educator, and policymaker who cares about the future of boys and girls.”

—Michael G. Thompson, PhD, New York Times bestselling coauthor of Raising Cain

The Boy Crisis is a groundbreaking and exhaustively researched book about one of the most vital and disastrous yet underreported topics in America.”

—Suzanne Venker, Fox News contributor and author of The War on Men

“Original, thoughtful, and filled with gems of practical wisdom to understand and support the future of boys.”

—Jack Canfield, coauthor of the #1 New York Times bestselling Chicken Soup for the Soul® series

“As an activist in the women’s movement, I’m proud of expanding life choices for our daughters. But no one did the same for our sons—until now. Dr. Warren Farrell shines his searchlight on the ‘boy problem with no name’ in this totally absorbing, astonishing, and masterful book. Best of all, he offers parents and educators straightforward solutions with a heart full of compassion.”

Gail Sheehy, author of Passages and Understanding Men’s Passages

The Boy Crisis is the most important book of the 21st century. . . . If you care about the very survival of humankind, you must read this book.”

Jed Diamond, PhD, author of The Irritable Male Syndrome

“A must-read for anyone who cares about our boys, our schools, our culture, and the future of our country.”

Helen Smith, PhD, author of Men on Strike

The Boy Crisis is a groundbreaking and exhaustively researched book about one of the most vital and disastrous yet underreported topics in America by one of the most thoughtful writers of our time. As the wife of a dad-deprived man, and the mother of a dad-enriched son, I can personally vouch for its deep significance.”

—Suzanne Venker, Fox News contributor and author of The War on Men

"The Boy Crisis will deepen your awareness and help you guide your son through the many dilemmas and ordeals that attend the journey from boyhood to manhood. Profoundly helpful."

—Sam Keen, author of Fire in the Belly and Prodigal Father, Wayward Son

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ BenBella Books (March 13, 2018)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 368 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1942952716
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1942952718
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.65 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.25 x 1.61 x 9.31 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 1,315 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
1,315 global ratings
This book has helped me start so many meaningful conversations with men and women.
5 Stars
This book has helped me start so many meaningful conversations with men and women.
Boy Crisis is fantastic and powerful, it will help you as a man see a path that you can walk that will not only improve your personal life but also the community around you. To know that as a father two of the best things you can do is to have regular meal times with an agenda and rough house with your kids will give them almost all the skills necessary to be an empathetic human being is so exciting. The amount of ideas this book will give you to dream dreams for the people you care about the most is unbelievable. I recommend starting appendix B on page 402- this will fuel your hunger to learn more and make it almost impossible to put the book down.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on June 17, 2021
Farrell's work in the field of men's rights is incredibly important, addressing a long list of serious issues and biases than men face in western society. These biases are not widely recognized or spoken of, a fact which fairly presents the bold-faced hypocrisy of the modern identity based civil rights movement. Farrell's work in articulating and addressing the problems facing modern men is worthy of applause, and considering his background as a strong feminist, no one could fairly accuse him of making his case in the cause of some zero-sum gender-war in the support of men.

That said, I think that there is a deep contradiction in Farrell's viewpoint. On one hand he recognizes that the world has been built upon a failure to value men's lives (men are driven to war, to dangerous jobs, and to suicide-inducing stress), while on the other hand he wishes to eliminate these problems. His cause is commendable, for sure, but there's a disconnect here: if men aren't doing these difficult, deadly jobs, then who is? Feminists want nothing to do with them (they'd rather focus on equal representation as high paid doctors, lawyers and CEO's). So who lays the bricks? Who works the frigid oil rigs? Who lays down the roofing? If Farrell is successful, then men will largely stop taking these jobs, and society will pay a high price for it.

People often forget that our world isn't built on sunshine and roses, rather than deprivation, blood, sweat, and tears: we need people to suffer through -and die for- many of the jobs that are necessary to sustain civilization. I don't say that lightly. Humanist notions of the sanctity of human life are easily contradicted by our willingness to put an implicit price to the loss of lives that we don't care about. A better case might be made if one were to argue that men deserve to be compensated fairly for the dangerous jobs they work (rather than be driven to them by social drives and lack of opportunity). Better that society at large should pay the full price for lives lost, than that those men themselves should pay alone.

I would given Farrell a break on this topic, but his efforts to undermine social incentives will only undermine people's willingness to do many jobs that are necessary for our sustenance. He touches on the possibility of giving men more bargaining power, but he doesn't spend nearly enough time expanding the idea: that is a critical failure, as its a point on which most of the book hinges, especially considering the lack of focus on public policy.

Overall it's a good read, with lots of useful data/ rhetoric for those interested in making a case for men's rights.
15 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on April 9, 2018
One endorsement of The Boy Crisis claims that is “the most important book of the 21st century.” I would amend that to “most necessary book.” Encyclopedic as it feels–almost 500 pages–it could have been four or five books, given the wealth and variety of its topics. While aimed at parents, particularly fathers, as they assist struggling young men to find healthy purpose and true male success in life, reading it causes me to reflect on my life as a man. For some women it may be a tough read, given that it incisively challenges many of the near dogmatic assumptions of what is wrong with men by offering well-researched alternative perspectives.

There are two distortions in the male narrative that challenge us, the distant or absent dad in contemporary societies and the anachronistic sacrificial disposability of men in the gender meta-narrative. Both need be questioned and countered. Farrell and Gray do exactly that.

From the fathering perspective, the demands of work life and familial support all but eliminate meaningful presence in parenting for many men, while divorce, on the increase as women find self-sufficiency, may exclude them entirely.

When it comes to real combat, men don’t count, except for a few heroes, living or dead, who sanctify the sacrificial offerings of the rest. Daily news reports from war zones count women and children dead and mutilated, leaving men to lie among the numberless casualties or be identified the bad guys who killed them. In popular media the killing of men is part of everyday entertainment and causes little concern. “The traditional male hero is about self-sacrifice, not self-actualization.” The battlefield and the workplace often function alike in this respect.

Though the women’s movement is rightfully empowering women to resist abuse and find rewarding and satisfying roles in life, there is little effort to allow men to follow “the glint in their eye”, to evade or redefine the stock, stereotypical roles of protector and provider. It is time for men to say their own, “Me too.” One hopes that the coming generation, now seemingly destined as micro-entrepreneurs, will have greater freedom to do so, but a new outcome does not depend solely on messing with the constraints of capitalism and commodification, but also on redefining the traditional male sense of purpose and adopting a life style that flows from it and supports it.

The book is replete with parental insights and suggested practices that begin to provide for this shift to a broader sense of purpose. This should not echo the veterinary sense of “fixing” men, but is about opening paths of opportunity for richer, more satisfying and, yes, heroic roles in male creativity, relationship formation and parenting. A good part of this is identifying and countering the “social bribes”, the pay-offs which deviate men from discovering their richer purpose offering a false currency of acknowledgement for outdated and too often tragic role performances.

Almost the last third of the book is focused on mental health issues most specifically on ADHD and its causes, effects and alternative remedies. I was hoping for OCD as well but was disappointed in this respect. Much wants more.

The pages are extremely well written, often with memorable lines in bold print. A few examples:
• “Time trumps dime” – valuing a father’s time with family, not just his earnings.
• We are inclined to “Save the whales but not save the males.”
• The shifting economy, “from muscle to microchip.”

The endnotes are abundant and supportive of the content, which will no doubt be contested as it frequently contradicts commonly accepted assumptions about men, their behavior and their highly touted privilege.

In sum, thanks guys!
188 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on August 11, 2022
There were many accepted "facts" that I had prior to reading this book that were challenged repeatedly by the new-to-me information and research supplied to me. I definitely think I am a better person and thinker after completing this book, and I am glad to have completed it prior to the school year and while raising my young sons.

Something to watch out for, though. Possibly some health studies, like the circumcision study, were not interpreted accurately. I was confounded by the information with that particular study, so my husband and I looked up the study and found that the researchers state the study cannot be considered conclusive. There are many health research studies, especially at the end of the book, so I did come into the final chapters thinking of the authors as having less credibility.

The final two chapters rocked most of my foundational thinking of behavior as well. In the multitude of teaching, leadership, and parenting books that I have read, the focus has been on what structural supports can I provide, how can I change how I say things to be more effective, and how can I create a better learning environment. Considering minerals, vitamins, diet, and homeopathy treatments was a red flag in my mind. Because of this, I spoke with a friend who had a child with ADHD and was surprised to hear from her anecdotal experience that the health advice described in this book really had been as wow as the writers portrayed it to be. I have scoffed at "quick fixes" such as the ones described here, but now I see great potential in replacing brain-impairing and long-term drugs with natural and safe methods.
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Gary R. Frank
5.0 out of 5 stars Wake up to the Problems of our Boys and Young Men
Reviewed in Canada on February 8, 2024
There is no group targeted with the same level of negative vitriol than young men. They are trained to suck it up and take it, and expected to bring home the results, all the while significant segments of society make male performance ever harder to achieve. … and it is taking a toll. The unfortunate downside is that there are serious consequences for these men, and society writ large. It won’t end well if somethings not done.
Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantiskt bra bok! KÖP! Mycket finare och större än vad jag trodde. Mycket bra kvalite! 5/5
Reviewed in Sweden on April 17, 2023
Fantiskt bra bok! KÖP! Mycket finare och större än vad jag trodde. Mycket bra kvalite! 5/5
adam jacobs
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Interesting Read
Reviewed in Spain on March 1, 2023
This is a very well researched book. I bought it mostly for its extensive bibliography on the subject matter. While I do not agree with some of the author's solutions to solve the crisis, I was very impressed with his supporting documentation, and his breadth of knowledge about the problem. The clarity with which the problem is laid out is definitely worth the read. The problem itself is undeniable and the author certainly made his point about the urgency with which it must be addressed.
EdsonZion
5.0 out of 5 stars Avaliação livro The Boy Crisis.
Reviewed in Brazil on October 4, 2019
A compra e a entrega do livro foi dentro do prazo previsto. Veio muito bem embalado. O livro é excelente! Conteúdo relevante e importante para os dias atuais. Recomendo!
2 people found this helpful
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Paul
5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent contribution to the debate
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 31, 2020
This is an excellent read for many reasons but primarily because Warren Farrell and John Gray have created an impressive resource for constructive discussion about the issues involved. With girls and young women now both out-learning and out-earning boys and young men we need to take stock and ask ourselves some serious questions if we are to avoid major problems in the future. In many respects this is fundamentally a crisis for humanity rather than for boys and men but we have to be careful how we frame the debate to ensure it is both balanced and productive and gives rise to genuine cooperation between women and men. We also need to consider these issues in a global context and how they have been playing out in different cultures.

The book addresses an array of issues which are often complex and nuanced. This undoubtedly created tensions and friction between women and men both individually and collectively, especially those who have been impacted most over the past 50 years and particularly black men in the USA. It offers a comprehensive review of the literature and whilst I would like to have seen more by way of interventions it may be premature in some ways given the lack of genuine public debate and need for further research. It would be foolish to think that women do not need our continued support but it would be equally foolish for society to continue to deny the seriousness of issues facing men. We now need to invest in the same way in relation to men including good quality research as well as considering the relationship between men and women but this book offers a major contribution to the debate and deserves to be widely read.
24 people found this helpful
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